Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Gender Jokes


How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
Both of them.
Why did the man cross the road?
He heard the chicken was a slut.
Why does it take 1 million sperm to fertilize one egg?They won’t stop to ask directions.
How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer.
Why are blonde jokes so short? so men can remember them.


How do you know when a woman’s about to say something smart?
When she starts her sentence with “A man once told me…”
How do you fix a woman’s watch?
You don’t, there’s a clock on the oven!
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women won’t shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Why were shopping carts invented?
To teach women to walk on their hind legs.
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you’re going to want to shoot it.
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog of course…at least he’ll shut up after you let him in.

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